“The greatest incubator for hopelessness is isolation.”
~ Dr. Tim Stafford
Yesterday I Instagramed another #AffirmationFriday for my good friend, Tim Stafford. I worked with Tim at a private Christian school in Las Vegas, and I can assure you, he is one of the finest educators I’ve ever had the pleasure to know. I was also one of his editors for a book he wrote called, What RU Thinking? Foundations of the Christian Mind. I love him because he’s a thinker, and he thinks about a lot of things that impact our world, and he also thinks a lot about thinking itself. (There’s a name for that, by the way: metacognition.)
The words that come out of Dr. Tim’s mouth are generally profound. In fact, one of the most profound and impactful things he’s ever said to me personally was when I’d worked myself into a tizzy at the school where we were both teaching and, let’s just call it what is was: no one bothered to acknowledge or appreciate my efforts. You’ve been there, right? I was feeling pretty taken for granted and exhausted and downright dispirited. Tim was there when I broke down, and he said life-changing words for me:
“Daisy, when are you going to realize that God doesn’t love you because of everything that you do or how much you kill yourself trying to prove your worth. He loves you simply because you are His. You belong to Him. That’s all He really wants.”
I breathed freely and I breathed deeply.
I stopped trying to please everybody in the known world.
I chilled.
I never brought the donuts to church ever again,
and I never folded one more blasted bulletin.
I was transformed by those words.
So, here is Dr. Tim again with some more wisdom, and I think it’s very timely and apropos during this holiday season, since this is the time of year when our feelings of aloneness and hopelessness can overwhelm us. Anytime we feel hopeless, we need to reach out to someone or to a group of people. Get out of the house – those ever-familiar surroundings that can make you feel like you are stagnant and in a rut. Make it a point to get together with family or friends. Go to church. Join a club. Grab a cup of coffee with a coworker, and don’t talk about the job. Go do something kind for someone. Invite the Mormon missionaries or the Jehovah’s Witnesses in for ice cream – everybody loves ice cream! Go serve dinner at the mission downtown or volunteer at the homeless shelter. Buy a puppy.
Just don’t be alone.
You’re not alone.
Dr. Tim is writing a new book, and this is a quote from it. If this book is about hope, then I hope he will hire me to edit it for him… hope is kinda my thing too, you know.
In the meantime, be well. Live well. Love well. Love God. Love your neighbor as yourself.
In fact, love yourself.
Daisy Rain Martin is an author, speaker, advocate, and educator as well as a founding member of The Flying M-Inklings Writing Group. Her comedic memoir, Juxtaposed: Finding Sanctuary on the Outside, was Christopher Matthew’s #1 top selling book in 2012. She has a free e-book on her website for anyone who has or is currently being sexually abused called, If It’s Happened to You. Her next book, Hope Givers: Hope is Here, will be out soon. Daisy is also the Editor in Chief of RAIN Magazine, an online magazine that has been a fundraising effort for her three favorite charities and features new, up-and-coming writers. Please follow her weekly blog, SATURDAISIES, which addresses a plethora of current issues including child advocacy, all things hilarious, and matters of the heart. She would love for you to join the Rainy Dais Community by friending her on Facebook and Twitter.